Thursday, January 10, 2008

On Being A Southern Belle

One of my belle friends, Jennifer, posted this on her blog. and I love it. I wanted to post here too. Jennifer is a perfect example of a true southern belle. I'm so glad there are belles still out there in the world today.


How to be a Southern Belle:
--Offer Mint Julep or Iced Tea to everyone who visits your house.
--Eat grits everyday for breakfast.
--Refer to your house as "The Plantation" no matter how small your house may be.
--Refer to all men as "gentlemen caller" or "beaux".
--Never let a man know you're interested or chase him because you know there are too many men who want you for you to expend the extra effort.
--When you have a dating dilemma and have one gentleman caller over when you are expecting another, claim to be "expired" and excuse yourself for a nap until he leaves.
--Whenever you are asked to do any work, fan yourself and claim to have the "vapors."
--Refer to every party you go to, even a kegger at the local university, as a "cotillion." All other parties are yankee garbage.
--Try to use words like "darlin'", "sweet" or "precious" in every sentence.
--Belong to a country club. If you don't, refer to any club you belong to as a "country club". No one will know the difference.
--Sit under a magnolia tree with a parasol fanning yourself often. Passers-by will take notice of your belle-ness.
--Never marry a Yankee unless you want to be a Yankee by association.
--Never be seen without your makeup and girdle.
Southern Belles NEVER:
1. Never blow their nose in public.
2. 'Pass gas' in public. (Well yes, they really do, but they look at the person next to them in shock and smile coyly)
3. Wear white shoes or carry white handbags before Easter or after Labor Day.
4. Chase after a man... they connive a man into chasing 'them'. Then act totally surprised when 'caught'.
5. Call men on the telephone.
6. Eat large amounts in public... they only nibble and say that they aren't hungry. (A southern belle will eat before a date, then again afterwards! It's not until the 'date' is of a fiancé status that a southern belle orders everything on the menu!)
7. Sleep with a man on a first date! (they get up and go home to do their sleeping!) A true southern belle never lets the man she's after see her first thing in the morning until she's 'got' him.
8. Sweat.
9. Get nervous or anxious... They're the picture of calm and control.
10. Cuss above a whisper where others might hear them. They use phrases like... 'oh my gosh', 'darn', and 'shoot'.
11. Have a gray hair until they're darn ready to have one!
Southern Belles ALWAYS:
1. Get the man they want!
2. Know the way to a man's heart is through his stomach.
3. Are extraordinary hostesses.
4. Always look their best! Never a bad hair day or never without the perfect thing to wear.
5. Can walk in heels like they're floating on air.
6. Are always a bit mysterious.
7. Are witty and charming.
8. Throw the best parties.
9. Are the greatest cooks.
10. Have style!


Serah said...

Hey Becky! I can't believe it's taken me this long to find your blog! I love it!

And you're the perfect Southern Belle!

Rebecca said...

Thank you, ma'am! :)

My blog hasn't been around very long, its a new thing for me. I LOVE your blog!

Julie said...

This is the funniest list!

I've been giggling the whole time, reading it!

My daughter will love it, too!

Thank you for sharing!

Many Blessings,