Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Desires of the Heart

I can't recall that I've ever wanted anything so badly, that I literally ache for it. I mean, I've lusted after things before, and been very hopeful for things. But to really ache for something, and that something be one of those everyday (at least some might consider it everyday) gifts of nature, that we come to expect. Like having children. Most of us never know the feeling of wanting a baby, and for whatever reason, being told that we might not be able to have that. There are so many reasons, maybe unable to conceive, maybe its a health risk to the mother or the baby, maybe the time or circumstances just aren't right.

I have a close friend who is in this place right now. And, I'm stepping out there to guess that she also feels her biological clock ticking. She would desperately love to have a child, while she is still physically young enough. Please keep my friend in your prayers. She faces a few obstacles before she can even consider attempting to conceive. Pray that God might find it in his good and perfect will for her to have a healthy baby. And to remember that regardless of the outcome, God always has her best interests as the desires of His heart.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

"Just Close Your Eyes

and jump, honey!" I remember those words my mama would say to me, as she treaded the deep water just below the diving board. "I'll catch you."

So today, I jumped, way out into the deep water. Only mama's not here, but I'm not alone. I told my boss today that I intend to resign my position. I have too many other things calling my name. I've worked 8 years in politics/government at this one organization. Before that I spent many years in higher education. I'm not one for big changes, especially where it affects my security. Some might call it a paycheck.

Funny how life changes, and begins to mold you into a different person. "Life happens." I think I saw that somewhere, maybe a bumper sticker or something. But my roles are changing, as I take on more care for my aging father, wanting to be more available for my sister, and just wanting to do things around my home, and for my family, and children, that I haven't had the chance to do before. Why suddenly do I feel that I need to fulfill a missed role of domestic goddess, or stay at home mom, or something like that? Its like a long lost desire, that was pushed way way down inside, and piled upon with stuff like career girl, money maker, independent woman, modern mom. Now, suddenly it's breaking through all the "stuff." And why now? When three fourths of my children are grown and out of the house, and my baby has become a teenager?

I don't have the answer. All I know is that now is the time. And part of me is giddy with excitement over this new season in my life. And the other part is scared as heck of the unknown. My friend says "Girl, you are giving up that salary? You are in the prime of your earning years." But what will that salary cost me? My soul? My time? My freedom? My last chance to grasp on to....what is it? Peace, and home, and stillness?

I'm glad I'm not out here in the deep all alone. I'm thankful that Jesus, through his Holy Spirit, makes himself known to me, and guides me and reassures me. "I am your provider." I feel like I am embarking on an unknown adventure with Him. And he has tons to show me, and to teach me. Lord, teach me to trust wholly in you. Open me up to your teachings and the lessons you will lay out for me. Let me be worthy of this blessing.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Fun Stuff

While I was on my so called "sabbatical" last week, my blogger friend Julie gave me this neat award. Thank you Julie! I've never received a blogger award before. It was a fun surprise.

Also, my friend Serah tagged me. I've never been tagged before either. So for fun, I'm going to keep up the tag. Here are the rules:

1. Link back to the person who tagged you.

2. Post these rules on your blog.

3. Share six unimportant things about yourself.

4. Tag six random people at the end of your entry.

5. Let the six people know by leaving a comment on their blogs.

So, here are six things about me:

1. I hate sitting in a restaurant, or any other place where there are large objects hanging over my head. Objects like chandeliers, TVs mounted from the ceiling or wall, etc. I have this fear about the object falling and smushing me.

2. I drive too fast. Yes, I have a need for speed. I'm not a reckless driver, but I have a problem keeping it at 55.

3. I got a new digital camera for Christmas, a Canon S5IS, and I still haven't taken it out of the box.

4. When I was a teenager I wanted to be a photographer for National Geographic. You wouldn't know that now seein' as how I haven't even looked at my new camera. Shame on me...

5. I have about 7 specialty certifications in scuba diving. I use to love to dive, but haven't been in a few years now.

6. I love to hike in the woods in the winter time. Something about the cold air, the crunch under my shoes, the look of the bare trees. I love the woods and the mountains in winter. And I don't understand that because I don't even like the winter season.

I'm tagging:







Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Just Playin' Around

Pardon moi, while I test something. I'm trying to learn to put a link with a name, or series of words. You techno types know what I mean. That sweet Serah at www.honeysuckleandcupcakes.blogspot.com (in case my link on her name doesn't work) told me how. But I posted this morning, a nice long post, with links, and it didn't work. So I'm sure I have a learning curve or something... Anyway...this is a test of the emergency broadcast blogger...

I hope a couple of my fellow bloggers don't mind if I used them as guinea pigs.



Monday, April 14, 2008

Be Still and Know

I spent last week on a "sabbatical" of sorts. If a sabbatical can be as short as a week. But I spent zero time on the computer, zero time on my job, zero time on the phone, practically zero time watching tv, except maybe a little bit on a couple of evenings. Instead, I spent a lot of time in reflection, and prayer and study, seeking God for a major decision that I've been facing. This decision has the potential to change my life, as well as affect the lives of my family. In many ways, I've known the road to take, but I think because it was such a huge life change for me, I wasn't quite trusting God completely on what He was leading me to. I have trust issues. Trust issues with those I love the most, and I think just people in general. And, trust issues with God. I didn't know that until last week, and God graciously revealed that to me, through his word, his voice, and using a sweet friend, who I think has no idea, at least no idea just yet. But I'll tell her.

Sometimes when we get ready to step off into the deep, into the unknown, its an extremely frightening thing. We become so comfortable with what our lives are, and the things we know, that we can touch and feel and see, and perhaps even the idols we have made. Sometimes when God calls us to something so very different, so out of character for us, its easy for us to question Him. "Are you sure about this God? I mean, it looks kind of risky to me." Honestly, I think God must love me alot, to endure all my "are you sure's." Sometimes I think he probably just shakes his head at me and thinks, "Child, look what I've brought you through. Are you saying you can't trust me in this particular "thing?"

So my life is taking a different path, one thats huge for me, and scary. Not scary in a bad sort of way, but scary in an exciting, new adventure kind of way. Yes, thats Him, the God of new adventures. And I'm so glad I can trust Him, even in the deep, even in the unknown.

Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul. Psm 143:8

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight. Prov 3:5-6

Friday, April 4, 2008

Random Thoughts of Spring

So, I changed my "look" today on my blog, new picture, new colors.

Azaleas are on my mind, probably because the azaleas in my garden and around my house are just beginning to bud. I think in the next week or so I'll have lots of pink and white around my house. Azaleas are one of my favorite signs of spring. I just wish the flowers lasted longer than a couple of weeks. The picture on my blog header is of azaleas in bloom on a wrought iron gate in Savannah. I love Savannah, especially in the spring.

I'm also eagerly awaiting the bloom of the wisteria and jasmine. There are only a few things as sweet to me as the smell of wisteria in bloom in the spring. I love the big grape like clusters, and the soft sweet scent. I always know that summer is just around the corner when the wisteria blooms.

Wisteria and jasmine should be the scents of the south. I'm looking forward to the bloom of jasmine too, on the lattice of our deck. Dear hubby has to cut that wild thing back every year, its a giant. But the scent of jasmine on a soft summer night's breeze is like nothing else in the world. The sweet scent of jasmine evokes memories in me like few things do. What is it they say, that smells are the strongest memory recallers, or something like that? Jasmine on a soft summer night takes me back to my childhood like a fast train back in time. Once again I'm a little girl, in my great grandmother's yard in Savannah, feeling the steamy warmth, still lingering at nightfall, from the heat of a July afternoon. Or, I'm down on Jekyll Island again, smelling the beautiful flowers from the vines that grew up around the iron rails on the porch entry of the little efficiency we would occupy in the spring. Jasmine smells like home to me.

Today its cool and rainy, feels almost like February instead of April. But we're thankful for the April showers. We've been in such a bad drought for so long. The rain will help, although we could use a lot more. When I look outside my window on a gloomy wet day like today, its nice to be able to anticipate the "springy" things to come. Its poppin' out all over!

Happy Spring y'all!

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Book Reviews

Gosh, I haven't posted in a while....

So, in the last month or so, I've read three books. Here are my reviews, in the order in which they were read.

Deep Dish, by Mary Kay Andrews: I like Mary Kay Andrews writing. I loved Savannah Blues and Savannah Breeze. Weezie Foley is one of my all time favorite characters. I also loved Hissy Fit. Her characters have endeared themselves to me, and I've found her main female characters sassy and fun. Deep Dish was different for me. I still found it to be a pretty good book, and I loved the male character, Tate Moody. There was one thing that bothered me in the book and it was the very frequent use of the F word. Now, I'm not all that bothered by the occasional use of the F word in literature, and have myself been known to sling a few cuss words around when provoked to anger. But in Deep Dish, the F word was used constantly. To me the routine use of it, when it added nothing to the story, was overkill. Also, I was bothered by the use of Jesus Christ as slang, and how often it was used in the book. There were a couple of times that I literally cringed at how the name JC was used. I think had the F word and the name of Jesus Christ not been used soooooo much, it would have made it a much better book for me. Aside from that, the story was fun, in Mary Kay's usual crazy way. I enjoyed their travels to coastal Georgia, a place near and dear to my heart. And I found a number of the supporting characters to be colorful and amusing. I give Deep Dish 3 stars out of 5 primarily because of the language.

The Will of Wisteria, by Denise Hildreth: I loved this book! Denise Hildreth is another one of my favorite authors. www.denisehildreth.com She also has trilogy of books, Savannah From Savannah, and the others that follow, about a young woman named Savannah, obviously from Savannah. The Savannah books made me a huge fan of Denise's writing. I highly recommend the Savannah books as well, for fun, and laughter, colored with a bit of faith. The Will of Wisteria is about a family of shallow, selfish, spoiled siblings who have to meet the demands of their deceased father's will in order to inheirit his gazillion dollars. The demands made by the father have the potential to be life changing. Denise takes hard to like people, weaves them into the beauty of the story, and by the end of the book you are in love with them. This was a lovely book set in Charleston SC and I really enjoyed how she wrote about Charleston and the outlying islands. The book will make you laugh and cry. It was nice to read something that wasn't riddled with bad language or graphic sex. In fact this book is uplifting and hopeful. I give The Will of Wisteria 5 stars out of 5.

Sullivan's Island, by Dorothea Benton Frank: I'm not sure but I think this may be DB Frank's first book. But its been around awhile, maybe since about 2000. www.dotfrank.com I had never read any of her books before, and thanks to a recommendation from Jenn over at www.beaufortlookout.blogspot.com I decided to check it out. Jenn is a big fan of DB Frank. And, now it seems that I'm a big fan too. I loved Sullivan's Island and devoured it in just a few days. Like The Will of Wisteria, this book is also set in Charleston and Sullivan's Island SC. Its a wonderful story of a middle aged woman, learning to live with divorce, her memories of childhood, and the special relationships of mother and daughter, and sisters. The characters endeared themselves so much to me. Its hard to pick out which one was most special. The book is filled with such a range of emotions, and events that span the racial tension of the 60s to ringing in the millenium of 2000, and a little bit of magic thrown in too. And, it contains one of the most hilarious sex scenes I've ever read. Not a raunchy graphic sex scene, but a downright funny one. I liked this book so much that I went out and bought it (I had gotten this particular copy from my library) and her next two books as well. Thank you Jenn for the recommendation! I give Sullivan's Island 5 stars out of 5.

Happy Reading!