Musings on an Autumn Day

I love the Fall. It is one of my favorite times of the year, right behind early summer of course. There's something magical about Fall. Its the smell in the air, of distant wood smoke, the earthy smell of leaves. Its the way the light changes and becomes a little brighter, harsher, and shadows are longer and darker. Its the way the breeze lifts the leaves off the trees and they dance as they fall to the ground. Fall always brings back the same memory to me, of playing outside in our large front yard while my daddy raked leaves, along with the other neighborhood men on Saturday afternoons. Radios blaring the Georgia game, with Larry Munson's voice booming across the entire neighborhood. Ahhh, football, especially bulldog football. Fall Saturdays in Georgia...like nothing else.

I'm afraid I've spent this Fall afternoon musing over deeper issues than leaves changing and Georgia football. Its one of those days spent musing "life" issues. I need to write about Judy one of these days. I just haven't been able to do that just yet. As though writing or seeing the words might make it all too real. But I'll get around to it....

Today I'm thankful for wonderful friends who are never too far away, and the "belles" who lift me up with prayer and encouraging words and laughter. I'm thankful for healthy children, who love their mama. I'm thankful for a husband who loves me and sticks by me, Lord love him. And, I'm thankful for a God who loves me, and supports me and lets me dump all my "stuff" on Him, and never seems to tire of saying "Give me the rest of it too..."

Yes, its a beautiful Fall day. Think I'll go up to the Apple Farm, grab a basket of apples, and do some baking this evening. Happy Fall Y'all!

My Mom

This is a picture of my mom, with her mom (my granny) and her sisters. My mom is the one on the end in the white sweater and dark scarf around her neck. From left to right, Aunt Sue, Aunt Dottie, Granny, Aunt Elsie, and Mama. Don't they look like they were just having so much fun? I wonder what they were saying and laughing about. They look so happy and so silly. I'm guessing this picture was taken probably in the late 40's or very early 50's.

I come from a family of very independent women. My grandmother was fiercely independent, very artistic, and I think way ahead of her time. She was a painter, photographer, and ran away from home at 17 years old to marry a full blooded Cherokee indian. Can you imagine the scandal at that during the days of early 1900's? She eventually married two more times after her first husband. Two of my favorite memories from her are the rose garden she tended in our backyard, and the smell of her oil paints and turpentine from her studio upstairs in our home. To this day the smell of paints and turpentine whisk me away in a second, back to that room and among all the colors of her palette and on her table.

My mom was also creative, a photographer, writer of historical romances (we always teased her about writing smut novels) and could draw beautiful pictures. She loved drawing with just pencil. She loved all animals, big and small, and we always had a house full of dogs, cats, sometimes even bunnies, guinea pigs, hamsters and even a chicken or two. She loved good books and instilled in me a love of reading and old books. She was so excited when home computers and the internet came along. She was writing her books on a word processor long before any of us even had home computers. And she was on bulletin boards and in chat rooms before I even knew what they were. She was cool like that. All my friends loved her. And later, after she died, I had friends that came up to me and shared secrets they had shared with my mom, things she had done to help them during difficult times in their lives, that she had never even shared with me, nor had my friends told me. I was amazed at her compassion that extended beyond what my family was blessed to know, and that my friends had come to know.

My mom would have been 75 years old today. I've always felt she left us way to soon, so full of life and vivacious. But I like knowing she's in heaven, and on my side up there, probably shaking her head in amusement and agreeing with God about some of the crazy things I do, and most especially about my hard headedness and stubbornness, probably laughing and getting a big kick out of me too. I hope so.

Happy Birthday Mama!

Don't Look Back

My friend Char sent me this magnet this weekend. The second arrow which is harder to see says "No Longer An Option." It made me think, life changes in so many ways, doesn't it? We never know what twists and turns our paths will take. Some paths are straight and narrow, smooth and easy. Other paths are bumpy, rocky, even broken and dangerous, like a path I once hiked along side a canyon wall. I was so afraid of slipping and falling.
As I've gone through these months of fear and hope and then fear again with my sister as she has battled ovarian cancer, I'm reminded that we never know where life's paths will lead us. But one thing we know for certain. He who is able will never forsake us. He holds us in the grasp of his mighty hand, never letting us fall off that cliff.

I found this quote from Tony Snow. I wondered if he was facing his cancer when he said this. But it sums up pretty well the path I'm on right now, and maybe Judy's too.

"We want lives of simple, predictable ease—smooth, even trails as far as the eye can see—but God likes to go off-road. He provokes us with twists and turns. He places us in predicaments that seem to defy our endurance and comprehension—and yet don't. By his love and grace, we persevere. The challenges that make our hearts leap and stomachs churn invariably strengthen our faith and grant measures of wisdom and joy we would not experience otherwise."

-Tony Snow

Coming Home

My sister Judy is coming home for a visit next week. I am so looking forward to our time together. Its been a rough summer for all of us, and I guess especially for her. The news she received this summer regarding her cancer has not been good. So she feels the need to come home for a time, however short her visit might be, and surround herself with family. I can't wait to see her. Right now I choose not to think on the future, and what it holds for her, for us. Right now I choose to plan for next week, for the outings we will make, the tea we will drink, the sunsets we'll enjoy from the deck, the laughter that always comes from our silly husbands who choose to act like crazy kids and cut up too much. Right now I choose to plan menus for family dinners...and to make sure I have my camera ready for those pictures that will last forever.

I'll think about the other stuff another time... Hurry home Judy! I can't wait to get my arms around you.

Huh?? Are You Sure??

That was my reaction yesterday... as my doctor told me that I have the chicken pox. Honestly, I had been suspicious for several days, wondering about this strange "stuff" that was slowly covering my body, and the achy flu like symptoms I started to experience. But I guess I just could not fully wrap my mind around the possibility of chicken pox. Not at my age anyway....

I really wanted the chicken "pops" when I was a child, and I was exposed plenty of times. All of my siblings had the chicken pops, almost one after the other. In fact, my two sisters had it together at the same time. I can remember lying in the bed with them, just knowing that my time was coming. Then I too would receive extra pampering from my parents. I too, would get to stay home from school, laid up in the bed, enjoying chicken soup and new books that Mama would bring home from the library. Shortly after, my baby brothers followed suit, and they too received the special "gifts" that came from being sick with the chicken pops. But wait! What about me?? Alas, I never ever broke out with the childhood illness that everybody gets. I totally missed out on all that fun.

Years later, as my own children contracted chicken pox, and went through the agony of the itching, I wondered and worried, "Oh gosh, will I get it now, as an adult, and a busy mom who does not have time to be in bed with the chicken pox??" I pampered my babies as my mom had pampered my siblings. And, I counted my blessings as the chicken pox once again passed me by.

So....why now? I'm too old for this, well, no one really has to know that, but you know what I mean. Anyway, I just don't get it. How did the chicken pops find me after all these years? I thought I was well hidden.

Would someone please draw me a nice cool oatmeal bath? And bring a good book from the library, and maybe a nice cup of tea too?

This Time of the Year

my heart bleeds red and black. Yes, I love me some Georgia Bulldawg football. And I especially love Uga. I was so sad this past summer when our beloved mascot Uga VI died suddenly of heart failure. He was a grand mascot and a beautiful bulldog.

http://ugaphoto.alumni.uga.edu/multimedia/UGAVI/

But, we were introduced to our new mascot, Uga VII at the opening game this year. He's a gorgeous dog too. I'm sure he'll be a fine mascot. I hope he has the personality that Uga VI had.

http://photo.alumni.uga.edu:80/multimedia/uga7/index.html

I think it will just take some time for him to adjust to all the pomp and circumstance of being one of the most beloved celebrities in the state of Georgia.

So, for now.... GOOOOO DAWGS! SIC 'EM! WOOF WOOF WOOF!

P.S. Hi Kathi! Thank you for being such a faithful blogger friend. :)

Coming Up For Air

Oh my goodness, it has been a month since my last blog entry. What a worldwind month it has been! Since my last post, I've left my job, gone to the beach to visit my sister, been offered a part time teaching position at a local college, been training for the part time position I start with the domestic violence center, packed/unpacked/reorganized my home office, and preparing to head down to St Simons Island tomorrow. Whew!


I don't know if anyone is even still visiting me here. But if you are, thanks for checking in on me. (((Kathi))) Thank you for asking about me, and thinking about me. I"m going try to be better about posting more often.

My sister Judy is doing very well in her fight against ovarian cancer. She has finished six rounds of very aggressive chemo, has no hair, but is feeling great. Her doctors are very encouraged that her numbers look good, and her cat scans look good. They tell her they are very impressed with how good she looks and feels. She has handled chemo so well, and not had as bad a side effects as many do with the kind of chemo she has received. Her appetite has returned so she has gained about 10 pounds, which is really needed. And she says she can feel her strength and stamina returning with each new day. So we continue to hope, and pray for a miracle.

The family and I are leaving tomorrow morning for a week at St Simons Island, one my favorite places on earth. Each time I go, as we cross the causeway over to the island, I always feel myself exhale, breathe deeply, and my muscles relax. I need it bad!