Another Chance

I have mixed feelings about each new year. Sometimes I hate to see the old year pass away, other times I am so ready for a new beginning. This is especially true this year. I've found myself reflecting on all that has passed this year, a year of loss and grief. Its hard to find the good and happy things that have happened this year, maybe because the loss and the grief seem to far outweigh the everyday happy occurances although I know they were there. This year I lost Judy, a sister, young, vivacious, kind, and full of life. Why? I've pondered that question so many times that now I'm just tired of thinking about it. This year my husband lost both parents, a mother and a father who were loved and who loved with abandonment. Grief is heavy, consuming. It robs you of your joy, and sometimes your hope.

But, there is hope, right? Hope in a new day, hope in a new year, hope in a new beginning, and another chance. With the new year I feel like its an opportunity to take a deep breath, shake off the heavy burdens, and say, "Ok, lets try this again."

No New Year's Resolutions for me this year. I can never keep those, and seem to only disappoint myself anyway. This year, simply reminders of those who are important to me, those who love me, and making the most of every single minute I have to give to those dear ones. I intend to keep a promise, made earlier this year, that I would live life joyfully, and fully, and not wallow in grief and disappointment, that I would seize each day and opportunity to find something good and hopeful in a person or situation. Thats a hard promise to keep sometimes, but isn't this the perfect time for renewed determination? Another chance, with a new year beginning?

This year I am determining happiness in my Happy New Year.

Remember ye not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert. Isaiah 43:18-19

I like that promise, don't you? Here's to new beginnings and new things. Happy New Year.

I Swear....

I am going to write myself a note, tape it to the inside of my cabinet door, the cabinet where I store all my "not used very often, (as in only at Christmas)" recipes, that says: "Christmas 2010, DO NOT fool yourself into thinking that you are a baker. Stick to recipes that you know and are good at. DO NOT try making candy or other never before tried cookie recipes!" My friends and family will thank me, Santa will thank me, and my wallet will thank me.

This weekend I threw away three, yes three, batches of Peanut Brittle. The recipe said "No Fail Peanut Brittle." Well, I failed...three times. And...I tossed out a batch of cookies, into the woods, from what sounded like a yummy recipe, but came out of the oven tasting like baking soda, or uncooked flour, or something not right. Something went horribly wrong. I don't know if even the forest animals will eat those cookies.

Oh how I long to be a Christmas baker. At least the Magic Bars and the Fudge turned out and tastes quite yummy. I guess two out of four is ok. For me, the wanna be baker, its par for the course. So, I'll whip up a couple of Pecan Pies from an old tried and true recipe given to me by my grandmother and use those as gifts instead of the cookies and peanut brittle.

Maybe to my note I should add..."Here's what you are good at...pecan pies, fudge, magic bars, and cheese balls. Stick to these!"

Meanwhile...my beautiful pink KA mixer goes back in the box, and back into the closet.

Merry Christmas

And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them, and they were sore afraid.And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. (Luke 2:9-11)

For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. (Isaiah 9:6)

He fills our holidays with joy, strength, and peace. Hold your dear ones close this holiday season, and give Him thanks. Merry Christmas!