I don't understand whats wrong with me. I have a bad case of Christmas spirit. This is not like me at all. I usually dread the holidays, mostly the stress that comes with getting ready, like buying presents, planning for family gatherings, etc. I always feel this sense of "rush" or a kind of "harried hurry-ness." And it always bugs me that Christmas is all over the place as soon as Halloween is over. Thanksgiving gets tossed aside for the mad rush of the Christmas season.
But for the past few days I've wanted to Christmas shop, I've wanted to listen to Christmas music, and look at this season's newest in holiday decorating. I've even planned out my Christmas baking. I'm not a baker. I have a super cool KA mixer, that I've used all of about 3 times. I'm scared of it. But Christmas baking? Yep, its on my list. And, I've bought a few presents this week, and organized my Christmas cards. Yessirree, I've got it bad.
I hope its God giving me joy for a holiday season that I've dreaded, with a sense of sadness, fearing that it might be our last with Judy. I've wondered how in the world will we get through this Chistmas season? I've watched all our family, even those who live oceans away, planning to be here for Christmas, to spend it together, with Judy and her family. I've been overwhelmed at just the thought of what this Christmas could mean for us, and how we would handle it.
Yet, in the fear, God has given me joy. Joy for a season, for a babe who came for me, for us, in spite of death. Joy for a babe who conquered death. Joy for a babe, a man, a savior, who longs for us. He's a mighty God, yes He is, who can send joy to interrupt the sadness and fear. Only Him.